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Ranking of the cruising friendliness of Basel's museum toilets

Q.U.I.C.H.E.

In a subreddit for "Best Date Ideas", someone made a captivatingly simple suggestion: "take me to an art museum and fuck me in the bathroom". That sounds so wonderfully romantic that it's highly recommended. However, logistical questions immediately arise. Not every public - or in the case of museums, semi-public - toilets are not suitable for a quick rendezvous. We have therefore compiled an incomplete ranking of the museum toilets in Basel in terms of their sex-friendliness. Like every statistical survey, there is massive bias in this study. It relates exclusively to men's toilets. désolé...

Kunstmuseum Basel
6/10
The three buildings have very different toilets. There is virtually no privacy in the new building. Even the contemporary building near the Papiermühle is hardly suitable for a quick adventure to the toilet. If you really want to cruise around the Kunstmuseum, you have to restrict yourself to the small toilets on the upper floors of the old building.

Kunsthalle Basel
8/10
For a long time, the Kunsthalle's toilet was a bit dingy. Now everything shines in new, white-plastered splendour. The toilet is now all-gender-friendly, which is good news, but even better is the fact that it has three proper lockable doors that offer sufficient privacy. One door leads to two urinals and this room is also completely lockable. So other visitors might not even be surprised if you came out in pairs.

Fondation Beyeler
5/10
The toilets at the Beyeler are generally spacious and clean. Unfortunately, there are only two cubicles, which is not enough to give you a moment of privacy given the number of bladder-weak pensioners.

Klingental exhibition room
2/10
The toilets in the foyer of the exhibition space may seem perfect at first, as they are spacious and easy to lock. However, they are incredibly noisy. Not recommended unless you're really keen.

Museum Tinguely
9/10
Ideally lockable and spacious toilets. Doors close completely. There is a room with two urinals, similar to the one in the Kunsthalle, only a little more spacious. The washbasin is also in the room, which can be quite helpful. The Tinguely even beats the newly renovated Kunsthalle toilet. Almost ideal. The only thing missing is a condom dispenser.

HeK
6/10
The toilets are nice and cosy in the basement next to the HeK's "club". So there really is a bit of a nightclub vibe. Thanks to the somewhat abstruse architecture of the back wall of the toilet room, one cubicle is also quite spacious. However, as the gap between the floor and the door is relatively high, it is almost impossible to hide what is going on.

Kunsthaus Baselland
6/10
The toilets are spacious and have their own window. This would be ideal if they weren't directly behind the cash desk and virtually in the museum's gift shop. Anyone who has sex in the toilet here makes the supervisor an accomplice.

Q.U.I.C.H.E. are semi-monthly thoughts about cultural moments in Basel and the surrounding area. Formulated by a loosely organised collective of queer people who dance in the haze of Basel's cultural scene.

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